Homily 39, on Psalm 114
Latin source: Germanus Morin (ed.), Sancti Hieronymi Presbyteri Tractatus sive Homiliae in Psalmos , Anecdota Maredsolana III (Maredsoli, 1897) — public domain. Psalm numbering follows the Septuagint/Vulgate (Morin).
I have loved, because the Lord will hear the voice of my prayer. He did not say, I shall love: but, I have loved. He did not promise that he would do it, but he testifies that he has done it. I have loved. Why have I loved? Because the Lord will hear the voice of my prayer. "I have loved" belongs to time that is past; but in "will hear" it belongs to the future. For he did not say, I have loved because the Lord has heard me; but, I have loved because the Lord will hear me.
Because he has inclined his ear to me. Since we are small and lowly, and cannot stretch ourselves up and lift ourselves high, for that reason the Lord inclines his ear and deigns to hear us. And so, since we are human beings and cannot become gods, God became man and inclined himself, according to that which is written: "He inclined the heavens, and came down."
And in my days I will call upon him. Here the question is asked: how is it that he calls upon him in the days, and does not call upon him in the nights? And how does he say in another place, "At midnight I rose to give praise to you," since the saints are more accustomed to pray in the nights? And in another psalm it is said: "In the nights lift up your hands to the holy places, and bless the Lord." How then does he say, And in my days I will call upon him? He did not say, I called; but, I will call, in the future. For while we are in this world, we call upon him in the night; in the world to come we call upon the Lord in the day. Therefore he said, in my days: for to sinners it is night, but to me it is day.
The sorrows of death surrounded me. It seems to me that the sorrows of death are foul thoughts. When the soul is thinking, and desires to sin, when it is in travail with sins, it is near to death. The perils of hell found me. O how unhappy and wretched and pitiable we are, because sin is always seeking us! But if sins are always seeking us, let us make haste that they may not find us. Now this is the difference between the sorrows of death and the perils of hell: the sorrows of death are evil thoughts, the perils of hell are evil deeds. That I may put it thus: one thing is in contemplation, another in action, that is, in practice. For there is the sorrow and the travail, but here is the peril that is near to death.
I found tribulation and sorrow. He says a strange thing. He does not say, I found rest: he does not say, I found abundance. Now if he had said, tribulation found me, sorrow found me, there would be no question. But now what does he say? I found tribulation and sorrow. As one seeking, so he found: for nothing is found except what is sought. The holy man does not seek rest, but tribulation: for he knows that "tribulation works patience, and patience trial, and trial hope, and hope does not confound." Something of the same kind is said also in Jeremiah: "Tribulation," he says, "and misery I called upon." "Because," he says, "at your bitter word I shall laugh": that is, in this world I want nothing else but tribulation, that in the world to come I may have rest and happiness. And therefore, he says, I now endure bitterness, that afterward I may enjoy sweeter things. And the people of the Lord, going out from Egypt, came to Marah, which is interpreted "bitter," and from Marah to Sinai, which is interpreted "temptation." And again Jeremiah: "I sat alone, because I was filled with bitterness."
O Lord, deliver my soul. Neither the Greek nor the Latin can express the peculiar force of the Hebrew. For "O" the Hebrew has ANNA. Now anna is interpreted "I beg" and "I entreat." And what he says is this: I entreat you, Lord, deliver my soul. For it is not the feeling of one wondering, but of one entreating: for he is set in enormous peril. The Lord is merciful and just, and our God has mercy. Prick up your ears, sinner: the Lord is merciful. But do not be careless: for there follows, and just. If you are a great sinner, listen, the Lord is merciful: if you are careless, listen, he is also just. But it seems to be as it were equal, the Lord is merciful and just: for instance, he is merciful in ten parts, and just in ten parts, and I speak thus for the sake of the simpler folk. Let someone say: If my sins are weighed, I cannot have as many good things as I have evil ones: but now it is said that he is merciful and just, merciful toward sinners, just toward the good: my sins begin to weigh me down, and he conquers in his mercy. Therefore he put "just" once, and "merciful" a second time. Merciful. He could also have spoken of the past. And our God, he says, has mercy: that he may always show him to be merciful.
The Lord keeps the little ones. If anyone is great, and exalts himself, and is proud, this man the Lord does not keep; if anyone thinks himself great, on this man the Lord has no mercy: but if anyone humbles himself, on this man the Lord has mercy, and the Lord keeps him. Since he says: "Behold, I and the children whom the Lord has given me." And again: I was humbled, and he saved me. We understand "I was humbled, and he saved me" in two ways: either I sinned, and he saved me; or, when I was proud, he humbled me and saved me.
Turn, my soul, into your rest. When it is said, Turn into your rest, then he had a rest before, which he lost. For no one turns, except him who goes back to where he was before. For God created us good, and left us to our own free will, and placed us all with Adam in paradise. But because by our own free will we fell from that blessedness, and came into the valley of tears; for that reason the just man exhorts his soul, to turn back there whence it came down. Turn, my soul, into your rest. For this place is a place of tribulation, it is the land of warriors. This place is a place of tears, where it is not permitted to walk in safety. For wherever anyone may be, there is peril: if in the desert, there are scorpions: if in the cities, the eye of the harlot is the destruction of a man: if on the sea, there are robbers and pirates. All these things I speak mystically. For it is not now a peril that a holy man should be killed by robbers: since indeed the martyrs conquered by their own blood. Turn, my soul, into your rest: because the Lord has done good to you. For the fact, he says, that you turn, O soul, into paradise, is not because you are worthy, but it belongs to the mercy of the Lord. That you went out of paradise was brought about by your own fault: but that you return, was of the mercy of the Lord. Let us too say to our soul: Turn into your rest. Our rest is Christ our God. If ever we are in straits, and a thought begins to lead us captive into sin, let us say: Turn, our soul, into your rest.
Because he has rescued my soul from death. He has not yet returned into paradise, and already he says that he has returned into safety. He said, Turn, my soul, into your rest; and as though secure he says, Because he has rescued my soul from death. When did he rescue my soul from death? My God suffered for me, my God was crucified for me, and I say: "O death, where is your victory? O hell, where is your sting?" My eyes from tears. I wept, that I might laugh: I mourned, that I might rejoice forever. He who does not weep in the present, will weep in the world to come. For "blessed are those who mourn, for they themselves shall be comforted." But on the contrary we say: "Woe to you who laugh, for you shall mourn." My feet from falling. Because my feet did not stand upon the rock, therefore "my feet were almost moved, my steps were almost overthrown." My feet have been freed from falling. Why? Because my soul has been turned into its rest.
I will please in the sight of the Lord in the land of the living. I seem, he says, to men to be just, though I have no good works: I seem to men to be holy, though I have no good words. Now this is what David says, this is what the saints say, this is what the apostles speak: for a sinner does not say this. What does the just man say? Though I have no good words and works, yet I seem holy, and am praised by men: but I know my own conscience, I know with what sort of thoughts my heart is tossed, I know how great the lusts are that come upon me, and "I see another law fighting against my mind and leading me captive in the law of sin." Therefore I say: "Wretched man that I am, who will free me from the body of this death?" And therefore I say: "From my hidden faults cleanse me, and from those of others spare your servant." From those of others. It is not mine, that which I bring to birth: I do not want to think evil things, and I think them: I do not want to think evil, and as though unwilling and captive I am dragged into an evil thought. But since it is not in my power either to think or not to think the things that are evil, therefore I say: These things indeed that come into my heart are another's: but since a kind of necessity is imposed upon me, therefore I say, From my hidden faults cleanse me. The sins indeed are another's: but because I take them up, therefore I say, In the sins of others spare me your servant. Now why have I said this? Because the prophet said, I will please the Lord. He did not say, I please; but, I will please: for here, in what I do, I cannot be perfectly just. Therefore the apostle also says: "In part we know and in part we prophesy," and "now we see through a mirror in an enigma." Therefore we have now used a long discourse: because in the present world no one can be perfectly just, neither David, nor the apostles, nor any of the saints. "For no one is clean from sin, not even if his life be of one day." Since indeed the apostles and the saints did not dare to say, we are holy; nor did they dare to say, I please, but I will please. He who has promised for the future confesses concerning the past that he has not done it. I will please the Lord. Where will I please? In the land of the living. For this is the land of the dead: the land of the living is another. Since David too was in this land, and truly in the land of promise; when he says, I will please in the land of the living, he confesses that this land is not of the living, but of the dead. Do you wish to know what that land of the living is? The Lord says in the Gospel, "The God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob," and they were dead. And what follows? "God," he says, "is not the God of the dead, but of the living." Therefore the just man too, what does he say? I will please the Lord in the land of the living: in the land of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. That is, when I am truly in the bosom of Abraham, then I will please the Lord.