Chapter XXXVII
On The Things The Exact Use Of Which I Have Learned By The Knowledge Of Discernment
Having been tested many times by things of the right and by things of the left, and examined myself in these two states many times, and received innumerable blows from the opposition, and been deemed worthy of important, hidden support, and having continued the examination of myself during a range of years, I have learnt by experience that the principles of all good things and the regaining of the soul from the captivity of the enemies, and the way towards life and light, consist in two things: abiding in one and the same place, and constant fasting. This means: that a man, being wise, shall lay down a fair law for his belly, by untroubled, constant sitting [alone). Proceeding from here he will reach the subduing of the senses; further: watchfulness of mind; further: tranquillizing of brutish passions stirring in the body. Further: quiet thoughts. Further: enlightened impulses of the spirit. Further: application to excellent works. Further: high and subtle insights. Further: immeasurable tears at all times. Further: watchful chastity, without any connection with the experience of the image in the spirit. 282 Further: a quick and far gaze. Further: a deep intelligence, penetrating and attaining to the hidden things in all depths, the power of words and the hidden motions in the soul; and the distinctions of spirits and holy powers; of true sight and deceitful images. Further: fear of the [many) ways and tracks in the sea of the spirit - fear that cuts off negligence; and blazing zeal which tramples upon all dangers and sets its foot upon all things feared; and fervour despising all desires and effacing from the mind the recollection of all transitory things;
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and many other things. In brief: the liberation of true man and the renewal of the soul and the resurrection with Christ in the kingdom, away from here. He that neglects these two 1), should know that he not only bereaves himself of these, but that he shakes the foundation of all virtues by despising these two. And as the beginning of all other virtues in the soul is formed by these principles of all divine se-rvice, which are the gate and the way unto Christ, for him that takes hold of them and sticks to them, so the deviation and the departure from them towards those which are their opposite, I mean distraction of the body and a lawless belly, constitute in the soul a place for the beginning of all things contrary to those mentioned above. And also this attitude takes its source in one action, viz. in the fact that the submissive senses are first freed from the bonds of lonely dwelling. And what are the consequences? Unexpected, impure 283 contact; threatening danger of falling; agitation and. heavy billows stirred by sensible sight; almighty flames kindled in the body; small spiritual shortcomings; uncontrollable deliberations, prone to falling; lack of love of service; gradual forgetting of the distinctions of solitude; complete negligence of the canons of behaviour; renewal of former things which had become effaced, and instruction concerning other new things, unknown before and caused by audition on various and perpetually recurring occasions and by a multitude of unintentional cases of sight, presenting themselves on account of perpetual travelling from country to country and from place to place. All this has the effect that those affections which by God's grace were already slumbering in the soul on account of the oblivion into which obliterated recollections had passed, begin to be stirred into motion anew, forcing the soul to work. And there are yet other [injuries] which I will not mention all of them; taking their origin in that first one, they are let loose against the miserable one, and he has to bear them. And what is the second fault? This, that he begins to resemble the swines in his deeds. What is it that the swines do? They do not check their belly, filling it at all times without having an hour fi x ed for food, as rational beings have. And what further? From this comes heavy sleep, great
I) solitude and fasting
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284 bodily heaviness and a slackening of the shoulders; the compulsion to desist from services, aversion to the inclinations 1) connected with them; contempt of the usual prostrations, darkness and coldness of spirit; a dull mind that does not distinguish, confusedness and great darkness of deliberations; thick clouds and obscurity spread over the whole soul; great dejection concerning every godly work, also concerning recitation [of the scriptures], originating therein that the sweetness of the sense of the words is not tasted; frequent neglect of necessary things; an uncontrolled mind, made blunt by wandering through the whole world, many humours gathered in the limbs; impure phantasies during the whole night, consisting in sordid representations and unclean voluptuous images, which cling to the soul and act in it according to their impure pleasure; and a cover and a body wholly defiled by the large stream of shameful things flowing from [the body] as from a fountain. And this does not happen at night only, but also by day the body sends forth [this stream constantly], defiling the mind thereby. And on account of these things, [the solitary] disavows his chastity. Sweet allurements working in the whole body with unbearable and incessant heat; exciting deliberations full of beautiful faces representing them before him lasciviously and perpetually and thereby seducing him; a mind delivering itself unhesitatingly to intercourse with them, joining itself with them in longing and meditation, because its distinctive faculty has 2 8 5 been blinded; all this is what has been said by one of the great philosophers: he that provides his body with many things, exposes his soul to penury. And though he recollects his soul now and then, trying to compel himself, yet it is impossible for him to keep his soul under control because of the hot emotions in the body which by the power of their allurements, forcibly captivate the soul, according to their pleasure. As the clever and acute Mar Diodorus of Tarsus says: to support the body in softness and luxury, quickly imparts to the soul a sensation of suffering, so that death becomes to it something deplorable and God's judgment is thought of with fear. The soul, however, that constantly thinks of becoming things, is quiet in its being; it has small solicitude, as it feels no grief. Care for excellence is the driver of the affections, the guardian
I) �
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of excellence, a secure education, joy without solicitude, a good life and a safe port. Bodily luxury strengthens the affections and makes them dominant upon the soul, nay they even totally eradicate it. And apart from all this, it inflames the belly on account of wantonness and lack of rules as to hours. Yet [the solitary] does not wish that gradually the passion of hunger should gain power over his soul which in a compulsory way could be brought by it under the dominion of the affections. These are the fruits that come forth from the shameful [passions] of the belly; and these are the fruits produced by 2 8 6 the lack of power to cling to one spot in peace. As now our foe, who follows us constantly, knows that on these two occasions nature is usually capable of being troubled and affected with passion to a higher degree and also the mind easier to be perflexed through sensible vision and· the comfort of the belly, therefore he contrives to surpass nature, and at these times casts into the mind different haughty deliberations in order to strengthen the power of passion over nature, if possible, by a more intense flame, and so ruin a man utterly. Just as our foe knows these times, it is, therefore, necessary for us to know them also as well as our own weakness and the [want of] strength of our nature which is not able to withstand the vehement emotions of those times nor the deliberations subtle as the dust of the earth which are before our eyes so that we cannot see ourselves nor remain upright before fate. By such experiences on many occasions we have miserably learnt from our foe to be prudent henceforth and not to allow ourselves to relax so that we indulge in the desire of consolation or to be defeated by hunger however we may be incited by it; or to be removed from the place of our solitude unto a place safe against such accidents, thinking out reasons and devising means for turning our back to the desert. Such thoughts are manifest machinations of Satan. But if thou remainest in the desert, thou wilt not be tested. For thou seest no woman 287 in the desert nor anything that does harm to thy behaviour, nor [doest thou hear] evil sounds. What hast thou to do with the ways of Egypt and with drinking water from the Nile? Understand what I say. Show thy foe thy training by enduring small things; then he will not demand great things from thee. Constantly thou shalt have to keep the laws of these small things, thereby throwing before his feet a bait, namely, in the
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struggle concerning them. So he will not have rest from them, so as to have occasion to set up dangerous snares for thee in secret. How is it possible that he should persuade a man, who is not to be persuaded to go five steps outside the door of his hut, to leave the desert or to approach unto the town? And he that cannot be induced to look through his window from the place of his reclusion, how should he persuade him to leave it? He who is not to be persuaded to take food in the late evening being desirous of vigils, how is it possible that his deliberations should be excited so as to begin [his meals before the appointed time? And how is it possible that he should induce as to important matters him who was even ashamed to satisfy [his hunger] by contemptible food? And how can he allure towards foreign beauty him, that even refused to look at his own body? First man is vanquished by small things when he despises them and then he causes himself to be driven towards serious ones. But how can he deter from troubles that lead to death him who loves [death], and does not care in the least to continue temporary life? Thus is the war carried on with understanding: the wise do not allow 288 their foe to invite them to great struggles. But the endurance which they show in small things, preserves them from falling while they perform large works. First the [solitary] desists from constant prayer consisting in beseechings of the spirit, and then he persuades him to despise canonical prayer [performed] by the body at fixed times. Firstly deliberation is relaxed, so that, within a short time, it gives way in insignificant and small things. And when it has given up its endurance, it will trespass in a wanton way. Firstly the solitary will be vanquished, or rather: it will be a trifling thing in his eyes to look at his naked body or to contemplate the beauty of each of his limbs, without clothes; or he will loose control over his senses in a vile way when he goes to fulfill a bodily want; or he will daringly and unblushingly introduce his hand within his clothes and touch his body; and then one thing and another will happen to him. As soon as the watchfulness of his spirit relaxes, showing negligence in any of these things, the gate towards serious offences will be open for him. Our deliberations are as water, as is well known. As long
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as they are confined on all sides, they proceed in their [right] order. If they once find a small outlet, however, they escape through it, causing breaches and ruins. For the subtle one who is spying us and waiting, sitting night and day before our z89 nostrils and looking which gate will be opened for him in any of our senses or in which of the things enumerated there will appear any foulness - he will of a sudden direct against us his weapons. Sometimes it will be our own nature which loves consolation and evil intercourse, and frivolity and pleasure and relaxation, which is a fountain of affections and a sea of agitation. Sometimes it will be our foe. Let us therefore vary great labours and circumstances perilous with ruin, with slight labours, that we may show in these small ones which are nothing, that they may give rise to important struggles if they are neglected, and to labours whose accomplishment is difficult, and to intricate battles and to large ulcers. Who would not like to have a quiet sleep at a small expense? 0 wisdom, how admirable art thou! And how thou doest foresee all things from afar! Blessed is every one who has found thee, who has been liberated from the torpidity of youth that buys great detriment with a slight negligence. One of the sages says beautifully, that once he was suddenly struck by emotion so that thereupon he straightway sat down, for a mere fortuitous thing, which was not of a nature to cause fear. For this, some one in a light mood laughed at him. He answered and said: Not of this am I afraid. I, am afraid of the expe-z9o fienced fact that often negligence as to small things causes danger of great ones. So, by my emotion and my sitting straightway down, I have proved concerning myself that I am awake; and also that further on I will not neglect those things which are not to be feared. For philosophy is this that a man gather great consolation for his soul by the attention he bestows on trifling things; that he will not slumber ere fate come and reach him; but that he will take in hand the previous things and will buy that · which is of importance, in exchange for a thing which will cause injury, a little before [this happens]. Fools attach a greater value to a little consolation which is near, than to a kingdom which is far. It is better to bear tortures in probity, than to relax on a comfortable royal bed in shameful baseness. For the sages prefer death to disdain on account. of neglect m
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affairs. Wake for thy life, says a philosopher; for drowsiness of mind is cognate to real death. The divine philosopher Basilius says: he that is weak in small things, do not believe that he will be trustworthy in great ones. Do not shrink from dying for the sake of those things for which thou wilt live.