Chapter XXXV
A Treatise In Questions And Answers Concerning Constant Behaviour And Every Kind Of Excellence Which Is Eminently Useful For Those Who Have Stripped Off The World And Dwell In The Wilderness, For Recluses And For Those Who In Voluntary Mortification At All Times Expect The Crown Of Righteousness
T he d is c i p I e says: Which are the bonds captivating the mind [and withholding it] from running after evil things? T he t e a c he r says: The constant search after wisdom and desire for the teachings of life. For bonds stronger than these against the unruliness of mind do not exist. T he d is c i p I e says: Where is the limit of the course of 225 wisdom for those who seek it, and where does the course of teachings end? T he t e a c he r says: The way of this course is foreign to any limit, to such an extent that even the holy angels do not reach perfection. The course of wisdom is without end. It ascends to such a height that it mingles with God him that follows it. And even this is a sign of its unlimitedness, that its distinctions are without end; wisdom is God. T he d is c i p l e: What is the first and principal way leading towards wisdom? T he t e a c he r: That a man seeks God with all his might and that he is quick in seeking Him with his whole person, so that he even does not dislike to give up and throw down his life on account of his love. T he d is c i p l e. To whom is it becoming to be called a man of understanding? T he t e a c he r. He that really understands that there is a limit to his earthly life, is also able to put a limit to his sins. What knowledge or understanding is greater than this, that a man has wisdom to depart this life without harm, while his limbs are
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are not strained with the odour of desires, nor his soul with the filth of their sweetness? If a man subdues his impulses in order to penetrate into the mysteries of all classes of beings, and is filled with insight into all kinds of knowledge, so to say, yet his soul is defiled by the filth of sin so that he cannot hope on account of the witness of his soul that he shall safely reach the harbour of trust - then there is none more foolish among the creatures than such a man who, though being constantly occupied 226 by his works, is brought by them to the hope of this world only. T he d is c i p I e. Who is really strong? T he t e a c he r. He that during the temporary troubles by which the glory of his victorious power is hidden, does not long after the comfort by which a shameful life is enveloped and which at all times compels those who find it, to drink the goblet of sighs. T he d is c i p I e. Is it harmful to his course towards God, if a man makes a pause is his labour? T he t e a c he r. It is not possible for a man to come near to Christ without troubles, nor can his righteousness be preserved unchanged without them. When righteousness already acquired is bereft of labours which served to augment and at the same time to guard it, it resembles a treasure which of a sudden finds itself without guardians, or an athlete who is stripped of his arms while a host of enemies surrounds him; or a ship that is left in the ocean without the utensils of her equipment; or a garden rich in fruits from which is cut off the fountain that watered it. T he d is c i p I e. Who is the illuminated in his impulses? T he t e a c he r. He who is able to understand the bitterness hidden in the sweetness of the world and who withholds his mouth from drinking its goblet. Who zealously enquires after the salvation of his life and who does not cease from running, up to the day on which he is freed from the world; who shuts the gates of his senses, lest the love of the world enter and dwell within him and bereave him of his hidden treasures. T he d is c i p l e. What is the world and how can we recog-227 nize it and how can it do harm to those who love it? T he t e a c he r. The world is a whore and by the desire of its beauty it attracts those who see it so that they love it. And he that during a short time has been entangled in its love is not able to escape from its hands, before it has stripped him even of his life and sends him from its house through
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death, bereaved of all. But a man recognizes it as soon as he endeavours to leave its darkness. Then he is able to see the many cords of its nets. As long as he is in it, he cannot see its ensnarements. For it is not only its disciples and sons and captives which are within its fortress, but also the renunciators, ascetics and those who have once broken its bonds and were once above it - those also it now gradually begins to entangle in its service, making them litter for its feet. T he d is c i p I e. Now that thou hast convinced me of the fact that the world really suffocates those who dwell in it and of how difficult it is to understand its artificial bonds, I beg to learn first, what is the first impulse. to the mind's doubt concerning the world, since its bonds are so very sweet and the schemes of its fetters are hidden? T he t e a c he r. When the deliberation of the love of his soul awakens in him, this impulse of deliberation begins to make the world hated in his eyes and it throws into him doubt concerning it. 228 T he d is c i p l e. Whence comes this emotionality which brings about that which appeared always praiseworthy and beautiful, now suddenly appears as ugly, so that he repents his life and his previous knowledge, thinking that he did not think rightly concerning the world? T he t e a c he r. In the first place it is nature which beckoning to him in silence, awakens in him the critical impulse as to the unstable duration of the world and of the future and of its course; and as to the ephemere nature of those who enter into it, so that he considers this world as a place of transition for those who enter into it; as also for the many generations before him, the number of which is unlimited. They have entered it as an inn for a night and left it as travellers on a journey over the whole earth, without thinking of return. Some of them kings, some governors, some wise, some honoured. Some of them scribes, some orators, some judges, some commanders of armies. Some of them possessors of riches, some lords of goods. And now after their death there is neither the order of their degrees, nor the crowns of their government; nor their dreadful thrones, nor their lordly pleasures, nor the praise of those who honoured them, nor the love of their friends, nor the luxuriant pleasures of their bodies, nor the comely beauty of their grace, nor their proud majestic stature, nor their erudite
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mind, nor their spirit rich in impulses, nor the rich effusions 22 9of the Gihon of their learning which streamed from their mouth and captivated by its grace the heart of the hearers. They have slept in Sheol for long years as if it were one night. And it is not known how many years they yet have of this long sleep, nor when the dawn of resurrection will rise for them and awaken them from their slumber. And to consider for what purpose they are left in this state, causes great suffering; and he will think of how many generations are cloistered under this earth, forgotten [now]. And I too will pass as any one of them. Cursed be riches and comfort. And under this deliberation, great confusion will arise in his heart and his spirit will be filled with suffering. And on account of the severity of suffering he will pour forth tears in great sorrow. Then he will despise the world and bewail his life and lament over his soul with various bitter lamentations. And with sighs he will say to himself: Where wilt thou be, my miserable soul and where wilt thou find thyself after my death? Perhaps even this deliberation will rise in him: Would I had not entered the world of creatures and I had not left the womb! In this kind of lamentation he will shed sweet tears because of the sorrow of his heart, and moisten his garments with his tears. And forthwith this world will be in his eyes as a prison and its first sweetness will be more bitter than any bitter thing and the love of his life and its desirable beauty will seem the type of hell. Then his mind will turn to scripture which will awake in 230 him faith in the resurrection and the end awaiting all the things of this world, and in the promises given to those who have lived well in the world and the divine judgments threatened against the transgressors of the law and against those who, during their short lifetime have lived in the broad way of sin. And then, as one who has discovered some light, he throws away the burden of sorrow, and great joy is awakened in him, because he has found a hope, excellent and true. These things and the like, nature is not able to prompt from his inward emotion: they are understood from the words of scripture by faith alone. Man is not able to acquire instruction concerning himself wholly from nature and from the critical impulses which are within him. Concerning the dealings of God in the Past and in the Future we are able to gain this in-
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struction from the scriptures or from spiritual revelation. Then by the rays of faith and scripture the eye of the spirit will be enlightened and the natural critical faculty will radiate and man will be incited to care for his soul. And further he will think of means to make his life free from the world, so that, before departing the body, he will be able to prepare for himself provisions useful for the world to be. T he d is c i p 1 e. How can man wholly give up the world? T he t e a c he r. By desire of the future good that is recollected, which divine scripture sows in his heart with the sweetness of its words full of hope. When the things that are thought to be glorious and delightful and in which man is entangled, are not contrasted with the desire of still more excellent things, 231 the spirit is not able to despise its former love. T he d is c i p 1 e. But nature is weak and not able to give up suddenly all its former customs and embrace a life of troubles. T he t e a c he r. If the greatness of the future life does not cause a man's spirit in the greatness of wisdom to compare it with the miserable shortness of this temporal life, it is not possible for him to take heart to bear troubles in order to begin his course on the way of the new world. Pray, compute in thy mind the number of years of this our place and elevate thyself as much as possible, and compare it with the days of the future world, and say whether that which thou givest is equal to what thou wilt receive. And, considering what thou leavest and what thou wilt receive instead of it, say whether thy exchange is an equal one. Therefore the wise, while he wonders at the greatness of that world and its unlimited life over against the shortness of temporal life, will say: The number of man's days if he lives long, are a hundred years 1); this is like filling a bucket from the sea or taking one corn of sand. A thousand years in this world is not as much as one day in the world of the righteous 2). T he d is c i p l e. And what shall we do with the body? As soon as it is surrounded by distress, the desire of the will towards the good is relaxed as well as its former zeal. 232 T he t e a c he r. This will usually happen to those the half of whose being has sought God, whereas the other half has remained in the world. This means that their heart is not yet
1) Cf. Ps. 901 1 0 2) Cf. Ps. 84, 1 1
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free from earthly things, but they are in doubt, sometimes looking behind, sometimes forward; and I think that the sage admonishes those who approach the way of God in this state of indecision, saying: Do not approach it doublehearted, but approach it as one who sows or as one who reaps. And our Lord, seeing that among those who wish to renunciate completely, there are some in such a state of mind, that their will is ready but their thoughts are drawn backwards by fear of troubles, on account of their love of the body which they have not yet thrown away - He will take from them this lassitude of mind saying to them briefly: If any man will come after me, let him first deny himself). What is the denial that is spoken of here? It is the denial of the flesh. And one who is destined to suffer crucifixion, he accepts the thought of death, and goes forth, as one who does not think that he has any further share in this life. This is [what is meant by] taking up the cross and following me. The cross denotes the will prepared for any trouble. And declaring why this is so, He says: Whoever will save his soul in this world, will lose it in the true 233 life 2). And whoever will lose his individuality here for my sake, will find it there. This means: he that sets his steps on the way of crucifixion and yet still cares to think of this bodily life, bereaves his soul of the faith for which to suffer he is gone out. Because this thought does not allow him to approach trouble; but, being always with him, allures him gradually and makes him leave the centre of the struggle for blessed life. Such thoughts grow in him till they have overpowered him. But he whose mind has complied with the loss of his self for the sake of finding the love of Me, he will be preserved, without harm, for life everlasting. This is, he who gives up his life for my sake will find it'. This means: make free thy soul as it were from thyself and prepare it for a complete loss of life. If the departure from this life finds thee in this state of mind, I will give thee life everlasting, according to my promise. And if thou perseverest in this life, I will show my promise in thee later as a confirmation of the future goods. Therefore, thou wilt find that immortal life when thou despisest temporal life. If thou enterest the strife with such a preparation, all that was most sorrowful and
I) Matthew I 61 24 2) Matthew 1 0, 39
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difficult, will be contemptible in thy eyes. The preparation of such a will even is not a struggle for his life in his mind, 234 even when peril of death threatens him. In short: If a man
does not hate his temporal life, because of love of the future life, he cannot bear troubles. T he d is c i p 1 e. In what way can a man cut off his former customs and accustom himself to a life of privation? T he t e a c he r. The body is not to be persuaded to live in need, so long as it is surrounded by things of luxury and relaxation. For the sight of [worldly] things, their splendour and existence kindles in it a desire for them. Therefore justly our Saviour has commanded those who follow Him, in the first place to renunciate and to leave the world. First He frees them from the causes of relaxation; then He commands them to begin work. And our Lord himself, when He began His strife.with the Devil, combated him in the dry and desert wilderness. And Paul also commands those who bear the cross of Christ to leave the town. So we will leave the town with Him, bearing his disdain, which He also suffered without the town. By the abandonment of the world and what belongs to it, man easily forgets his former customs and his trouble will not last a long time. But the coming near to [worldly] things easily relaxes the fervour of the spirit. It is also becoming and very profitable in the strife, that a man's life be ordered with the utmost privation and indigence, free from all things that 235 excite [the desire of] comfort. When thus the causes leading towards relaxation are removed from man, he will not be tormented by the double strife, the outward and the inward one. Lo, how much easier is the strife if the things a man desires are afar off and not near, alluring the thoughts by their aspect. Thus we see that there is a double strife. When a man's way of life is poor and his wants are small, he will not look with desire at these things even when indigent and he will content his body with little, because even the body is despised and contemptible in his eyes; and he does not approach unto it because of its beauty and the pleasure · it gives, but only in order to sustain nature. These ways easily lead man to asceticism, without harm and strife and deliberations. It is becoming for a man to refrain from the sight of those and to remain far from those things,
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against contact with which he can be on his guard only with a great effort. This I do not say in view of things of the belly only, but also in view of those things which by their temptation put to the test the solitary's freedom and the avoiding of which he has promised in his bond with God. So I mean also the sight of a woman's face, the sight of superb things., superb · persons and their luxury, splendid persons and their garments, all things belonging to worldliness also speaking and hearing concerning them. For the affections possess a strong power, 2 36 when [worldly] things are near, to weaken the strugglers and to turn aside their mind. If the sight of beautiful things spurs on the mind to follow their service with zeal, it is well known that also those which are the contrary of beautiful, have the power of captivating the mind. And if further harm does not happen than· that the quiet mind is cast into strife, there is this loss at any rate, that a man by his own will is thrown from peace into perturbation. If one of the saints, an industrious father, thought the sight of a man with a womanlike face a harm for the mind and an injury in the strife, when once he approached one of the convents, who then should neglect other [dangers]; for this blessed man was not to be persuaded even to enter and pro strate himself there. This wise father deliberated with. insight thus: ' if it should come to my memory even only in. the night I pass here, that there is here such a thing, this would be a great loss'. And therefore he did not enter the convent. ' I am not afra.i d, my brethren' [he said]. ' But wherefore useless strife'? This means, that even such recollections hinder the serenity of my service. For all the things which belong to this body and against which a man must guard himself by a great effort, will cause him little strife as long as they are at a distance from him. Thus even when they are near, so long as a man uses the pleasant things [of this world] with fear, he desires their proximity only because of the use which is in them. 23 7 We see that many roots are buried and hidden under the earth, of which no one has any knowledge as to their existence while it is summer, because of the force of the sun and the strength of heat. But when the raindrops reach them and the influence of the fragrant air, then all of them suddenly begin to show themselves whereever they are buried. Doest thou not
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see, that by the strong heat of asceticism and the rays of the grace of solitude, the affections leave thee in quiet; but if thou approachest the things [of the world], thou shalt see that all of them are quickened. and thrust up their heads from their places, that is: if they smell just a little of the odour of comfort. These things I have said in order to show that no one should have confidence before he dies and departs this life and how helpful in our strife flight and withdrawal from the world are. Those things which we are ashamed to recollect secretly, we must also fear to meet. And we may not tread down the heart and despise conscience. For in a lonely place without contact [with the world] we have to examine our body in order to acquire training in endurance. There is also another thing, more important than the rest: namely as often as that which is a cause of strife, is afar from a man, even if he be vexed in mind he will not fear that, vanquished by desire, he might employ it on account of its being near. 238 T he d is c i p 1 e. If a man has thrown away all impediments and has entered the arena, what is the beginning of his strife against sin, and where does he start fighting? T he t e a c he r. This much is known to every one, that all strife against sin and its desires is to be preceded by the labour of fasting, especially if one is combating inward sin. And the token of hate against sin and its desires, visible in those who are engaged in this invisible strife, is this that they begin with fasting. Afterwards comes standing during the night. He that during his whole life loves the use of fasting, is a friend of chastity. As at the root of all the boons of the world and of all its evils, is sexual pleasure and the relaxation of sleep which incites to impure cohabitation, so the beginning of the holy way of God and of all virtues, is founded upon fasting and strict punctuality in the service of God, with the crucifixion of the body during the whole night in the strife against the pleasure of sleep. Fasting is a strengthening of all the virtues, the beginning of the struggle, the crown of the Naziraeans, the beauty of virginity and sanctity, the preservation of chastity, the beginning of the way of Christianity, the father of prayer, the fountain
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of placidity, the teacher of quiet, and the forerunner of all good qualities. As the delight of light belongs to sound eyes, 2 39 so the desire of prayer follows fasting with discernment. For as soon as a man begins to fast, his mind forthwith will be desirous of intercourse with God. A fasting body cannot endure lying on its bed during the whole night. For fasting naturally excites vigilance unto God; not only by day, but also during the night. And the empty body of him that fasts does not grow fatigued in the struggle against sleep. And though his senses are weak, his mind is awake unto God in beseechings. It is better to neglect service for weakness caused by fasting, than on account of indolence caused by food. To dwell at length upon the beauties of fasting is not necessary. Many of the teachers and fathers have spoken about the victories of fasting and the many beautiful things originating in it. And all books inform us concerning the importance of fasting and the victories it has given generation after generation, and concerning the mighty help afforded by it, and the high praise deserved by those who fast. And by experience it is known to every one, that it is the fountain of all good [qualities]. As long as the seals of fasting are on a man's mouth, his mind meditates on the soul's penitence, his heart sends forth prayers and his face is dark with sadness. Evil impulses are afar from him; neither is gladness seen on his brow at all. For he is an enemy of desires and idle occupations. There has never been seen a man who was fasting with discernment who was subjected to evil desire. For fasting is a storehouse of all virtues. And he that despises it, makes all virtues totter. 240 As the first commandment imposed upon our nature in the beginning was against the tasting of the food, and in this point the head of our race fell, therefore those who strive for the fear of God begin the building there where the first injury originated, when they begin the task of keeping His commandments. And also our Saviour, when He manifested Himself to the world at the Jordan, began from that point. For when He had been baptised, the spirit led Him into the wilderness, and then He fasted forty days and forty nights. And all those who follow His steps, base the beginning of their struggle upon this action. That weapon was polished by God, who should despise it without being blameworthy? If the lawgiver has fasted, to
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which guardian of the law is it not necessary to do likewise? Till then the human race had not known victory, and Satan had never experienced defeat on the part of our nature; through this weapon, however, he was vanquished for the first time and the first victory was won which set the crown on the head of our nature. - Thus it is that as soon as this weapon appears in the hand of a man, immediately fear falls upon the deliberations of Satan, that head of rebellion, and at once his mind is struck by the recollection of that defeat in the desert and that first defeat he had to suffer. His strength will be broken when he sees the weapon which our commander has placed in our hands. As soon as he sees this weapon worn by any man, he knows that this one is prepared for the strife. \What weapon is stronger than this and which gives encoura-241 gement to the heart in the struggle with evil spirits as hunger for Chris(s sake does? To the degree in which a man's body is fatigued and kept down at the time when the hosts of Satan surround him, to the same degree his heart is supported by confidence. And he that is constantly in this state, will at all times be burning with zeal as it were with fire. Constant fasting is a symptom of zeal and fervour in war. Even that zealot Eliyah took upon him this tribulation when he fought for the divine law. Forty days he restrained his mouth from food, during the long walk through the desert. Fasting reminds those who practise it of the spiritual commandments; for it was a mediator in the ancient law and by the grace of our Lord Jesus we have received it. But what more shall I say concerning its merits which are known to every one? He that despises fasting, will also be weak and without vigour in the other good works, because he lacks the weapon by means of which the godlike athletes have been victorious. And he that from the beginning shows in himself a sign of relaxation, gives his adversary a chance of victory and enters battle in a state of deprivation. And it is certain that he will leave it, without the victory, because he has bereaved himself of the force which divine zeal had stirred in him. Thus he begins strife in a state of cold instead of in a state of heat. For his limbs are not clad with the flame of hunger, namely of fasting during which the mind endures the strokes of all hard and unexpected events motionless. It is said concerning many of the holy martyrs that, when
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24z they were informed by a spiritual revelation or by one of their friends, regarding the day on which they would receive the crown, they did not taste anything the preceding night, nor did they take any food. But from the eve till morn they would stand in prayer, awake, praising God in songs and glorifications and hymns and spiritual melodies, being joyful and exalting and expecting that moment as people destined to enter a bridal house. They expected, while in a state of fasting, to receive the blow of the sword and to be crowned with the crown of the confessorship. And we too have to keep this state of preparation perpetually, o my brethren, expecting invisible martyrdom and the winning of the crown of holiness, [being on our guard] lest in any of our limbs a sign of unbelief be given to our enemies. Thus our outward senses and our inward impulses being clad with all the weapons of God, we shall receive this crown deserving it and so we shall. go in unto His glory with the holy martyrs, striking our enemies with amazement. For without labour nobody wins the crown, as the teacher, the great Diodorus 1) says. For it is well known that it would be most unworthy that merchants may not bring home riches without labour and dangerous storms, and that yet the righteous should expect the remuneration of the crown, without injury and labour for the sake of righteousness. z4 3 T he d is c i p 1 e. Many are those who perform these labours, yet do not perceive rest as to the affections, nor peace as to the deliberations. T he t e a c he r. The affections hidden in the soul, o my brother, cannot be apeased by the works of solitaries which are performed with the body alone, nor do these hinder the deliberations from being constantly stirred by the senses. These labours guard man against being vanquished by desires and against harm caused by the demons. But they do not give peace and rest unto the soul too. Labours cause apathy and mortify our limbs on the earth and give rest on the part of deliberations, only if they are combined with solitude, when also the outward senses rest from turbulance and have become addicted during some time, to the service of wisdom. Until a man refrains from meeting his fellow-man and until he checks
1) One of the London Mss. has: Basil
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his limbs · from mingling with many things, and concentrates his self, - he will not be acquainted with his affections. For solitude, the blessed Basilius, the shining torch of the whole world, says - is the beginning of the purification of the soul. For when the outward senses have rest from outward turbulence, then the mind will return from distraction unto its place and the heart will be stirred to examine the inner impulses of the soul; and if it perseveres well it will reach in its course even the purification of the soul. T he d is c i p I e. Is it not possible for the soul, if it be strong, to be purified while having connections with the outward world? T he t e a c he r. If a tree is watered every day, when will 244 its roots. become dried up? A vessel whose contents increase daily, when will it be empty? If purity be nothing else than to forget the dealings belonging to non-freedom and to have peace from their recollection, and if a man, either personally and practically, or through others, renews in his soul by the medium of the senses this recollection, viz. the knowledge of evil things, when shall he be purified from them? Or when shall he be liberated from the strife with outward things, so that it will be possible to see inward things and gain peace? When the heart is defiled every day, when can it be purified from filth? Perhaps it cannot even dominate practice, not to speak of purifying the root. For it stands in the centre of the camp and every day its ears are struck by the rumour of battles, how then can it venture to proclaim peace to itself? But if it be far from these, then it will be· able to grant peace to the inward things gradually. Before the stream from above has been shut off, the nether waters will not dry up. But when a man has found solitude, the soul is able to expel the affections and to test its own wisdom. Then the inward man will be stirred unto spiritual service and day by day he will perceive the hidden wisdom moving in his soul. T he d is c i p I e. What are the true marks and the undubitable signs that from a man's labour the hidden fruits are beginning to show themselves in the soul? T he t e a c he r. When he is deemed worthy of the gift of 24 5 tears; fl o wing abundantly and without compulsion. Tears are to the mind the sure distinction between the bodily and the spiritual state, between the state of apperception and that of purity. As long as one has not yet received this gift, the
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labour of his service is still in the outward man, and this to such an extent that he does not even perceive anything of the hidden service of the spiritual man. When he begins to leave the bodiliness of this world and moves in that territory which lies beyond this visible nature, then at once he will reach the grace of tears. And from the first apartment of that hidden behaviour these tears will begin and they will conduct him to the complete love of God. When he has reached this point, tears will be so copious that he drinks them with his food and his drink, so constant and abundant are they. This is a true token of the mind's leaving this world and its apperceiving the spiritual world. And the more the mind approaches unto this world, the more these tears will diminish. And when the mind is wholly in the worldly things, it will also be completely without tears, and this is the sign of its being enveloped by the affections. Some tears cause a burning heat, others render fat. All tears which flow for grief and distress of heart caused by sins, make the body lean and burning with heat. And often when these tears are shed, one will even feel that his marrow is injured. Man will necessarily enter this order of tears first. 246 Then by them the gate leading to the second order will be opened for him, an order which is by far superior, because it contains the sign of the receiving of mercy. What is this? Those tears which have their origin in insight, make the body fat; they flow spontaneously and compulsion has no share in them. They also anoint the body and the aspect of the face is changed. For a joyful heart renders the body beautiful. These tears moisten the whole face when the mind lives in solitude. The body acquires by them as it were some sustenance and joy is diffused over: the face. Whosoever has experienced these two varying states, will understand. T he d is c i p 1 e. What is the resurrection of the soul, namely if ye be risen with Christ? 1) T he t e a c he r. This is what is said by the apostle in another place: For God who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts 2). Resurrection he calls leaving the old state, which in the likeness of Hell hindered him from seeing the light of the Gospel rise, so to say, which
I) Coloss. 3, I 2) 2 Cor. 4 1 6
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is the breath of life in the hope of the resurrection by which the dawn of divine wisdom rises in the heart, so that he now is a new man in whom is nothing of this world. As it has been said: A new heart also will I give you; and a new spirit will I put within you 1). Then in truth Christ is imprinted on them, by the spirit of wisdom and revelation, in knowledge concerning Him. T he d is c i p 1 e. What is, in short terms, the power of the practice of solitude? 247 T he t e a c he r. It mortifies the outward senses and quickens the inward impulses. Intercourse, however, works in the inverse way. T he d is c i p 1 e. What is the cause of the visions and revelations granted unto some? To others however, who have laboured more than the former, such things are not granted. T he t e a c he r. The causes of revelations and visions are many, not one. The first cause of revelations and visions is God's will to give a token of His mercy; in this case God provided men with them in order to help them. Some take place on account of divine providence. These are the common cases. The rest take place in order to strengthen and to encourage the weak, and to console and instruct them. [An instance of those revelations which take place by] providence are the angels which were seen at the side of the grave, and those which at the Assumption appeared unto the Apostles who were both distressed and stupefied and in confusion on account of the Lord's departure from them. And at once two angels appeared who stood by them in white apparel, and those which appeared in the prison and in any place where [the apostles] fell into the hands of men. Unto single persons and unto the other saints after them they appeared, and even to this day. For these three classes of men such visitations are usually provided: for those who are simple and irreproachable above measure; or for holy and perfect persons; or for those who on account of fervent zeal have fled from 248 the world; abandoning it entirely in despair and retiring from any part inhabited by men, following God, naked, without hope. or help from anything visible, assailed by the fear of desolation or surrounded by the peril of death from hunger or illness or
1) Ez. 36, 26
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any evil whatever and near to dejection. That such consola· tions happen to some people, whereas others who are their superiors in works remain without anything of that kind, is in the first place founded on purity or non-purity of the heart, I mean. A second cause is certainly this, that as long as a man receives consolation from his fellow-man or from any of these visible things, such [heavenly] consolations do not happen to him, safe only by providential decree and this bears a common character. But our discourse is for solitaries. A witness to this is one of the saints who has announced that there came a voice unto him saying: Enough of consolation from and intercourse with men! Another witness 1) to this is he who led a solitary life in reclusion, and often tasted from consolations granted by grace, and divine care often became visible to him in manifest apperception; but when he came near the inhabited world and sought these things as usual, he did not find them. He besought God that the truth concerning this matter might become 249 known to him, saying: Perhaps, my Lord, grace has been withdrawn from me on account of my episcopal rank? It was said to him: No. But then, there was the desert, there were no men, but God provided for thee. Now, there is the inha· bited world and men provide for thee. - So we say that it is impossible for a man to share in visible as well as in spiritual consolation. T he d is c i p 1 e. Are vision and revelation one, or are they different in fact as they are different in names? T he t e a c he r. There is a difference between vision and revelation. The name of revelation covers the two, because it denotes the revealing of a thing that hitherto was hidden and now becomes manifest in any way. But not all that is revelation is at the same time vision. But what is vision is also c;alled revelation, because it is a hidden thing which is revealed. But not all that comes to be revealed and known, is vision. Revelation is usually connected with what is intelligible and tasted with the intellect. Vision, however, always happens in similitudes; as those things which were ministered unto the ancients, be it in the depth of sleep, or in the state of waking; sometimes clearly, at other times dimly, while he to whom the
1) See Introduction
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visiOn was given often did not know whether he saw awake or in sleep. Even after he had regained consciousness, he did not know whether the thing had in reality happened to him, or as in a dream. Sometimes a V<?ice of help was heard; 250 sometimes a symbolical representation was seen; sometimes there was a clear apparition, face to face, and sight and speech, questions and intercourse; and those holy hosts appeared to those who were worthy. It is clear that in the desert and the wilderness and in lonely places and in places of retreat from the world, such things happen; where man decidedly needs them, because he has no help from any side. Revelation of those things which are apperceived intellectually, is received through purity. And the latter only belongs to the initiated and perfect. T he d is c i p 1 e. When any one has reached purity of heart, what is the token thereof? And when shall he know himself whether his heart has come to purity? T he t e a c he r. When he sees all men in a good light, without any one appearing to him unclean or defiled. Such a man has really reached purity. If this were not true, how could it be possible to fulfill the word of the A postre: When a man possesses all excellence, he reckons every one superior to himself in heart and truth 1). But when he has reached the point mentioned, he whose eyes are pure, does not see evil. T he d is c i p 1 e. What is purity and where is its limit? T he t e a c he r. I think that purity is oblivion of those kinds of knowledge which do not belong to nature, those namely which nature has found in the world. Its limit consists therein that we are freed from that knowledge to such a degree that we reach the original simplicity and integrity of nature in the 25 1 way of a child, apart from small exceptions only. T he d is c i p 1 e. It is possible for a man to reach this order? T he t e a c he r. Ay. One of the Fathers was come so far, that he repeatedly asked his pupil whether he had eaten bread or not. And one of the saints who was then an old ascetic, had become so pure and simple and had reached such a perfection and serenity, that he was nearly as a babe, having forgotten all wordly things. And perhaps many will not
I) Cf. Philippians 2, 3
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believe us what we say (for it is a real wonder) that even at the oblation of the Eucharist he could not observe [the fast] so as to receive the Eucharist; he did not even know whether he had observed [the fast] or not, till his disciples kept watch on him in his cell and brought him to the sanctuary, as a little boy. So very serene and pure was this blessed man. And being thus in worldly things, in his soul he was perfect with God. T he d is c i p I e. Which meditation and occupation should a man have in his reclusion and solitude, lest his intellect should be found to be occupied with accidental deliberations? T he t e a c he r. Thou askest what shall be the meditation of him that is dead to the world in his cell. Should a man who is zealous and whose soul is awake, need to ask what his work should be in his solitude? What is the meditation of the solitary in his cell but weeping? Should he be able to turn his gaze from weeping towards a different deliberation? W hich zs z meditation would be more profitable? For his dwellingplace, lonely like the grave and deprived of all worldly pleasures, teaches him that his service consists in weeping. And even his name turns him into this direction; for he is called abila, which means: bitter in heart. All the righteous have departed this world with weeping. If the saints would weep and their mouths at all times were filled with their tears and they thus departed this world, who should not weep then? The consolation of the recluse is born from weeping. If those who were victorious have shed tears in this world, how then should he that is covered with wounds dare to abstain from weeping? If before the housefather his beloved is laid dead, should he need instruction concerning the thought which should move him to tears? Thy soul which is dead in sins is laid before thee, thy soul which is of greater value to thee than the whole world. If we come to solitude, we can also get accustomed to weeping. Therefore we should steadily beseech our Lord to give us this. If we receive this gift, excellent above any other, through weeping we shall reach purity. And when we have reached it, it will not be taken from us again, to the day on which we shall depart the world. Blessed therefore are the pure in heart who at all times enjoy this delight of tears and through it constantly see our Lord. While tears are in their eyes, they are deemed worthy 253 of seeing His revelation at the height of prayer; for they even
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know of no prayer without tears. And this is what has been said by our Lord: Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted 1). For by mournfulness a man reaches purity of soul. When therefore our Saviour says: Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted, He does not explain what comfort is. When the solitary is deemed worthy on account of his mournfulness to pass beyond this place of affections and to reach the plain of purity of soul, where he will find a consolation that will not leave those who have found it - then it is clear that the consolation which at the completion of mournfulness is received through purity, is promised by our Lord to the mournful. For if any one weeps constantly, the affections will not approach his heart; for weeping lies beyond affectibility. If tears are able to efface from the mind of him that mourns and weeps for but a short time, the recollection of the affections, what shall we say about him who has imposed upon himself a definite service during day and night? Who knows the profits of weeping, save those who have given themselves to it? All the saints desire this [means of] introduction; and by weeping, a gate is opened before them through which they enter that place of consolation, in which the footsteps of God's love are impressed by revelations. T he d is c i p 1 e. But because man is not able to adhere to this practice, on account of the body's weak nature, it is necessary for him to have some other thing serving to capti-25 4 vate his mind, lest the affections should assail him through the idleness of the intellect. T he t e a c he r. The affections are not able to assail the soul and to trouble the solitary whose heart is cut off from the world by dwelling lonely in the complete solitude of the desert, separated from all the sounds and voices of the commotion of mankind - unless he neglect his duties, especially that of being occupied with the scriptures and the profitable deliberations with which he is occupied, by the excellent understanding of which paltry thoughts are driven away from him and his mind is not able to free itself from them, but [in this state] he gazes upon the whole world, because of the great delight of that occupation by which the intellect is completely satisfied in that extreme loneliness of the desert. So he looses
1) Matthew 5, 4
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consciousness of himself and forgets his nature and he becomes as one who is mad without any recollection of the world; especially when he thinks of God's greatness, the glory of His nature and His wondrous works and when he recollects how high his own despicable being has been elevated. To think about Him and to dare foster such thoughts for the sake of delight and to get drunk at all times by ecstatic impulses as in the life after resurrection, are things greatly promoted by solitude, because the intellect has the opportunity of being with itself, in the peace that has its origin in solitude. At the same time it will adapt its recollections to the aim of its course, and it will direct itself towards the glory of the world to be, the hope preserved for the righteous, life in spiritual emotion 2 5 5 wholly originating in God. This is the new way of life, without recollection and without emotion concerning anything in this world. And when he is satisfied with these things his contemplation turns from them towards the things of this world in which he is still abiding, saying with amazement: 0 the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge and unsearchable mind of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and His ways past finding out 1). Since He has prepared a different world which is so amazing, into which He shall introduce all rational beings and keep them without variance in life without end. What then is the reason why He has made this world first, which He has made large and has provided with a great many species, and has made a place of a multitude of affections? And He has set us first in this world and implanted in our nature a strong love of its own life; then He expels us from it, gradually, by death and prescribes to us a long interval in a state without sensual apperception, like stones and wood, a state during which He destroys our image and pours out our mettle and mixes it up with the earth. And He permits our building to be demolished and ruined, till it has lost all likeness with [its previous] composition. Then, at the time appointed by His wisdom, working according to His free will, He resurrects us in a different likeness which He knows and introduces us into that new order; and not only us, but also the holy angels, who do not need the use of this world 256 on account of their amazing nature. For all of them are nearly
I) Romans II, 3 3
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perfect, awaiting the resurrection and the elevation of our fallen state, when the human race shall rise from the dust, and its fallen state be quickened unto new life. For on account of us they are hindered from entering, till once the gate of that new world will be opened, which they expect. For even the class of the angels sighs with us in that it sees us loaded with the weight of the body while it hopes and expects the revelation of the children of God, so that it itself may be freed from slavery that perishes, in the freedom of the glory of the children of God 1). First he will free this whole [world] from its state so that it is reduced to nothing, analogous to the first state of the body. Then he will elevate himself intellectually beyond the beginnings of the creation of the world, when there was no creation nor anything,. no heaven, no earth, no angels, nor any of the created things. Then of a sudden he will bring all things into existence, his will being sufficient to effect that all is before him in a state of perfection. Then he will descend in his mind and visit all God's creatures. And in his high and wondrous works the wisdom of his creating power will show itself. His power subdues all minds, the amazing and powerful strength of his creating force brings into existence out of nothing a creation with innumerable different kinds. Then he will think of how He again will destroy this, so that perishes the wondrous order, the ornament of kinds, the 2 5 7 prescribed course of the creatures, the times and occasions, the harmony of night and day, the useful seasons of the year, the embellished earth, the different kinds sprouting from it; the fine buildings of the cities and the beautiful palaces in them; the continual course of mankind, nature submitted and tormented from man's entering it until he leaves it. And how suddenly this wonderful order will be destroyed and how a new world will begin in which no recollection whatever of the first creation will occur to any man's mind, in which there will be a different mode of life, different deliberations and different thoughts. Then human nature will no longer recollect this world nor the former way of life in it. For the gaze of their mind will be captivated by the sight of that [new] order, and it will not be able to turn in its memory
1) Cf. Rom. S, 2 1. On the following passage cf. the Introduction.
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towards the races of flesh and blood; for as soon as this world is destroyed, the new one will begin 1). 0 mother that suddenly has been forgotten by the sons which she has borne and educated and instructed - and in the twinkling of an eye they are gathered unto another bosom, and have become real sons of the barren one that which has never borne. Rejoice, o barren, thou that didst not bear, at the sons which the earth has borne to thee. And the mind thinks in amazement, of how a new world will take the place of this, and of when its beginning will be; and of how long these bodies will lie in that state, body and dust mingled together; and what like that mode of life will be; and in what likeness this nature will rise and in what way it will come to the second creation. By such thoughts rest will spread over the mind. And the 5s apperception of its bodily state will vanish; and it will remain a long time in silence, wondering at the incomprehensible deeds of God. At that moment the solitary will kneel down and render thanks with many tears to God who is wise in His works, and whose deeds are incomprehensible, as are also the secrets of His exalted mind, concerning what He has done and what He will do. What heart of stone would not become unconscious under such impulses, struck with silence and stupor, and turned away from the emotions of senses and impulses? Blessed is he who has been deemed worthy of these things. Blessed is he who has thought of this, day and night. Blessed is he who has been occupied with these things during his whole life. To every man this thought is useful, but especially to him that lives in solitude. And it is becoming that these recollections should always be with him. These indications a man should take to mind and, having finished prayer, he should think of them and meditate upon them. When he is occupied with these thoughts, there will be no room for foreign recollections in his spirit, which could hinder him from the constant recollection of God. And if at first he does not perceive the profitable infl u ence of these things, on account of his being distracted, he should not be dejected. When the husbandman casts seed on the earth, it is not pos-
1) The two sentences which follow could be an interpolation; the sentence "And the mind thinks" etc. is the direct continuation of the present one.
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sible that he should see the oars at the same time. Dejection and despondency are connected with sowing. It is sweet to the peasant to eat of his bread; but his sweat is still sweater. 259 This thought, in solitude, will pour endless delight into the heart and will quickly draw the mind towards unspeakable ecstasy. Blessed is he to whom this fountain has been opened and who drinks from it at all hours of the day and the night. T he d is c i p 1 e. What is the acme of all the labours of asceticism, which a man, when he has reached it, recognises as the summit of his course? T he t e a c he r. When he is deemed worthy of constant prayer. When he has reached this, he has touched the end of all virtues and forthwith _he has a spiritual dwelling-place. If a man has not received in truth the gift of the Comforter, it is not possible for him to accomplish constant prayer in quiet. When the spirit takes its dwelling-place in a man he does not cease to pray, because the spirit will constantly pray in him 1). Then, neither when he sleeps, nor when he is awake, will prayer be cut off from his soul; but when he eats and when he drinks, when he lies down or when he does any work, even when he is immersed in sleep, the perfumes of prayer will breathe in his soul spontaneously. And henceforth he will not possess prayer at limited times, but always; and when he has outward rest, even then prayer is ministered unto him secretly. For the silence of the serene is prayer, says a man clad with Christ. For their deliberations are divine impulses. The motions of the pure mind are quiet voices with which they secretly chant psalms to the Invisible One. 26o T he d is c i p I e. What is spiritual prayer, and how are we made worthy of it? T he t e a c he r. It is the psychic impulses which partake of the influence of the Holy Spirit, on account of veracious purity. One man in ten thousand is found worthy of this. It is a symbol of the future way of existence, for nature is elevated and exempt from all the impulses from the recollection of things in this world. It does not pray, but the soul perceives the spiritual things of the world beyond (which is something greater than the mind of man); the understanding of these is kindled by spiritual force. - It is inner sight, and
I) This is apparently the meaning of the sentence, which in the original is not quite clear.
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not the impulse and the beseeching of prayer. It has its starting point in prayer. Because such men have reached the summit of purity and because at all times their inner emotions are stirring in prayer - as I have said before - the Spirit, whenever it looks at them, will find them in prayer; and from there it will conduct them by contemplation, which is interpreted spiritual sight. They do not want prolonged prayer nor the defined order of frequent service. For the recollection of God alone will be sufficient for them, and at once they will be governed by love, as if captives. But because of this state they are not absolutely negligent, but attribute honour to prayer by standing on their feet at fixed times; but they do not practise continual prayer. For we see that the holy Antonius, when standing on his feet 261 in the prayer of the ninth hour, perceived that his mind was taken up. And another saint found himself in ecstasy for four days, while he stood in prayer with outspread hands. And, on examination, it will be seen in the stories of many others that they were found in the well known attitude of prayer, when granted this gift. A man is deemed worthy of this, when he puts off outward and inward sin, by observing the commandments of our Lord, which are anterior to this state. If one will practise these in his own degree, it is inevitably necessary for him to forsake all human things. This means: he shall put off the body and be outside it, so to speak; not its nature, but the use of it. There is nobody who has practised these things in the sense of the lawgiver, and with whom sin has persevered to dwell. Therefore our Lord has promised in the Gospel, that He shall make His dwellingplace the man who observes these things. T he d is c i p 1 e. And what is the perfection of all spiritual fruits? T he t e a c he r. This is when man is deemed worthy of the complete love of God. T he d is c i p I e. And how can he that has reached this point, acquire certainty? T he t e a c he r. Every time when the thought of God is stirred in his spirit, the heart will become hot with love at once, the eyes will shed multitudinous tears; for love is accustomed to shed tears at the recollection of the beloved. He
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that is in this state will never be found destitute of tears, be· 262 cause he is never without abundant recollection of God, so that even during sleep he speaks with Him. Love is accustomed to practise these things and this is the accomplishment of man in this life. T he d is c i p 1 e. He that after many labours and fatigues and victories fought and won, is assailed by the thought of haughtiness that is based upon the beauty of his excellence, when he recalls the many labours he has borne - how can he restrain his thoughts and regain watchfulness so as not to give way? T he t e a c he r. When he knows that he falls from God as a withered leaf falls from the tree, then he will also know his own strength and recognise whether he has acquired these virtues by his strength and whether he could have withstood all the struggles face-to-face if God had withdrawn from him His help and had left him alone in his strife with Satan without being accompanied by that force that usually accompanies the victorious combatants in their struggles. For here their strength, or better their weakness, comes to light. So that it is God's care for man which at all times guards and strengthens him and through which he overcomes all classes of men, be it in the struggle of chastity, or in the sufferings of martyrdom or in the other hardships while he suffers for the sake of divine things. This is well known and no doubt concerning it is possible. For how else could nature vanquish this mighty force of never resting allurements which have their seat in man's members z63 and torment him and yet he does withstand them? How is it that others which love and long after the same purity, are not able to reach it, though they strive after it, nay daily they are cast back, tormented and sad and weeping over themselves, whereas thou bearest easily the difficulties of nature, which are so hard, and yet thou art not oppressed by them? Or how were it possible that another should endure in his sensitive flesh the cutting iron and the combs in all his members without being vanquished by suffering under all kinds of tortures, whereas else he could not endure a little thorn inserted under his nail? But these totally diverse tortures he bears without suffering in the natural way. How should this be possible unless some force, apart from that of nature, were sent to him and
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from another direction and unless this force restrained and mitigated the force of the tortures? There is nothing that withholds us from mentioning here a story that is really amazing to one who hears it. Because we have pointed to God's care for man which makes him victorious in all battles for the sake of excellence, it would not be becoming to omit this story. Socrates, in his work on the history of the church, when mentioning the Roman emperors, relates in a succinct way the evil which the members of the church had to suffer under Julianus; then passing on to par-264 ticulars he tells a story of that which happened in the city of Antioch. A certain adolescent, Theodore by name, was brought by the heathens before Sallustius, to whom the jurisdiction in these matters had been entrusted. He gave him up to suffering and torture, commanding that his whole body should be combed. Then he set him free from torture, thinking that he was dead. But God was the saviour of that blessed man, who lived for a long time after his testimony. For Rufinus, who has written about ecclesiastical things in Greek, says that a long time after he had conversation with this blessed Theodore. He asked him whether he had felt the pain keenly when being tortured. The latter answered that he had been conscious of pain to a very trifling extent only. For a young man had been standing near him, wiping off the sweat of the struggle and strengthening his soul and making the time of the struggle of the tortures a delight to him. 0, for God's compassion, how near is His bounty to those who begin the warfare for His sake in order to bear sufferings for Him gladly. Do not injure God's bounty to thee, o man. If it is manifest, that thou art not the victor but that thou art as an instrument and that the Lord wins the victory for thee whereas thou obtainest the name of victor as a present, what then hinders thee from beseeching at all times the same power, that thou mayest always obtain the same victory as a 26 5 witness? Hast thou not heard, o man, from of old and from
the beginnings of time, how many champions have fallen from the height of their victories because they have injured grace? 0 n t he s a m e s u b j e c t. The gifts of God unto the human race being many and various, there is also a difference in their smallness or greatness in relation to those who receive them.
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Though all of them are wonderful and glorious, one is more than the other in glory and honour. One degree is higher than the previous one, according to the word of scripture. And further, that a man be elected to practise good works and a steady behaviour, this is one of the principal gifts of Christ. But many forget this grace, namely those whom God has distinguished above others so that they belong to the receivers of His gifts, even to the degree that they are elected to the service of the Lord; then, in contrast to the gratitude which was always on their lips, they turn aside to presumption and become haughty in mind. And though they have been made worthy to serve God with pure behaviour and spiritual labours, yet they do not deem themselves receivers of grace but as those who deserve this through God, forgetting that they have been elected from the rest of mankind unto familiarity with Him and knowledge of His mysteries. Nor do they tremble in their whole soul when they think of how their comrades, who fostered the same thoughts, were suddenly de-266 prived of that strength with which they had been entrusted, and of how in the twinkling of an eye they lost the great honour they had possessed and declined quickly unto lasciviousness and turned towards the base behaviour of the irrational animals. And because they know not the strength of their soul, nor perpetually recollect Him that made them worthy of the great boon of serving Him and of abiding in the honour of His kingdom and that made them comrades of the spiritual beings and brought them near unto the behaviour of the angels, He rejects them from their service. Thus He shows to them by the sudden variations of their behaviour, that it was not by their own [strength] that they adhered to a steady behaviour under all the assaults of nature and the demons and the other impediments, but that this strength wa_s a gift from Him. What other men cannot even endure to listen to, on account of its difficulty, this they have endured a long time without being vanquished, because the strength that accompanied them was able to help them under all circumstances and to guard them at all times. Accordingly, since they have forgotten this, the word has been fulfilled in them. Namely as they have not willed concerning themselves that they should know God, viz. their Lord who has made the service of the spiritual beings descend to earth, God has delivered them up to vain know-
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ledge and so they have received in person the retribution which their forgetfulness had deserved. T he d is c i p I e. Is it possible that a man should so to speak daringly leave the dwellingplaces of men suddenly and z67 go naked into the uninhabited desert and the terrible wilderness in beautiful zeal and that he should die there from hunger or from the absence of shelter or the like? T he t e a c he r. He that has prepared a dwellingplace for the beasts before He created them and who provides their wants, will not neglect those who fear them, especially when they follow Him simply, without forethought. He whose will accords with God in all things will never, for fear of bodily evils and dangers, consent to adhere to a filthy behaviour and to endure a life of humiliation because he fears troubles. But he will count it an exquisite and delicious thing to become estranged to the whole world in purity of behaviour, and to lead a life of deprivation among hills and mountains and to wander in the haunts of beasts and not to lead a life of filth, in bodily comfort, delivering up his soul so that it be for ever destitute of a pious and pure behaviour unto God, to whom belongeth the glory and the honour and who preserves us in His goodness and sanctifies us by His spirit to the honour of His name, that we may praise Him worthily all the days of our life, Amen. For one of the saints says 1): The body becomes a comrade of sin; for it is afraid of troubles, thinking it may receive an injury and have to give up its life. For the spirit of God oppresses the body so that it dies; it is well known that it cannot vanquish sin unless it die. Who desires that our Lord should dwell in him, will oppress his body and minister unto his Lord those spiritual fruits which the apostle describes; and he will guard his soul against the works of the fl e sh which 268 Paul describes. For the body that is mingled with sin takes pleasure in the works of the flesh. And the spirit of God takes pleasure in its own fruits. When the body is weak by fasting and mortification,. the soul is spiritually strong through prayer. When the body is vehemently oppressed by solitude and penury and its life is near its term, it will beseech thee: Leave me a while to behave with moderation. Now I give directions because
1) Introduction p. 3 2
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I know by experience that evils are of this nature. And when thou releasest the body somewhat from oppression, giving it some comfort by sparing it so that it can take breath again, then it will whisper to thee quietly again and again: Let us leave even the wilderness. For its allurements are very strong; [it says]: from now onward we shall be able to behave well, even in the neighbourhood of the inhabited world. For we have been put to the test in many things and we shall be able to continue this [behaviour] even there. Put me to the test and if I do not comply with thy will, we can begin anew for the desert lies before us. - But do not believe [the body] even if it beseeches and promises greatly, for it will not keep its promises. When thou hast granted it some of its wishes, it will drive thee on towards greater concessions from which thou canst not retract thy steps. When thou art dejected on account of thy being filled with troubles, say to thyself: Doest thou desire this filth and this sordid life? And if the body says to thee: It is a great sin that thou killest thyself, - say to it: I kill myself because I cannot live purely. I will die now and not further see my soul's essential die away from God. It is 269 better for me to die now for the sake of purity than to live a shameful life in the world 1). This death I willingly choose on account of my sins. I kill myself because I have sinned before God and will not further rouse His anger. What to me is life afar from God? I will bear these evils and through them I will not be a stranger to heavenly hope. Why have I been created in the world, if I simply enter and leave it? And what should God profit by my life in the world, if I lived badly in it? On the contrary, I would but rouse His anger.