Chapter LXX
That We Can Understand The Degree Of Our Behaviour By The Varying States Of Our Mind Without Childishly Judging By The Many Distinctions Of Our Labours Only That We Should Recognise The Degree Of Our Soul As Sages By The Joy Which Day By Day Is Secretly Perceived In It. The Subtle Order Of Initiated Knowledge
Examine thyself constantly, my beloved, and pay attention to the steadiness of thy labours, and the troubles assailing thee, thy lonely dwellingplace, the subtlety of thy mind and the keenness of thy knowledge, the long period of thy solitude, and the frequent drogues of temptations that are continually administered by the true physician in order to heal the inner man; sometimes however by the demons. Sometimes they come through illnesses and bodily sufferings, sometimes through the terrors of the emotions of thy soul when it thinks of the woes which will come in the end. Sometimes through 484 the tenderness and fostering of grace there will arise warmth and sweet tears and spiritual joy and all the other things, to be short. Doest thou see with certainty through all these that thy wounds are going to be healed, that is - that the affections begin to grow weak? Put up a mark and enter into thyself continually and see v.rhich of the affections have become weak before thee; which of them have reached their end and are altogether finished; which of them are beginning to become silent in the health of thy soul, and not by the departure of emotional infl u ences; through the maturity of the mind and not for lack of causes. Doest thou now see perfectly - as thou observest that living flesh, which is peace of the soul, is going to cover thy open wound - which of the affections continually trouble thee, and which from time to time; and which are bodily, which are psychic, and which of a mixed nature; and whether they stir darkly, as being ill by recollections, or they assail the
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soul vehemently; whether they consequently behave stealthily or imperiously; and how king mind, the governor of the senses, looks at them when they knock at the door; whether it combats and vanquishes them by its force, or even does not look at them or think of them; and which of them are the remnants of old ones, and which have been newly formed; and whether the affections stir through representations, or by apperception without any representation; whether there is recollection without affections, and emotion without allurements. By these [symptoms] it is possible to recognize the degree which the soul occupies. If the first mentioned alternative is to be affirmed (though it does not prevail), this shows that 4 85 there is still strife in the soul though it is strong against [the contrary powers]. If the second mentioned alternative is to be affirmed, it almost proves that, as scripture says, David sat in his house and the Lord had given him rest round about from all his [enemies] 1). These things are not to be connected with one affection, but with the natural affections of desire and love also, as also with the affection of love of glory, which forms images and phantasies and allurements. And the affection of the love of money - when the soul participates of it secretly, though it is not persuaded to commit any action thereby - forms in the mind images of things connected with the love of money in the examples of wealth-gathering, and it induces the soul to think of. them and it excites the desire of possessing them, and soon. Not all affections combat man by allurements. For some of them burden the soul with troubles only. Dejection and despondency and distress do not bring allurements nor comfort, but only burden the soul with heaviness. The readiness of the soul is demonstrated by a victory fought against those forces which make use of allurements in the struggle. For a man ought to possess all these, namely subtle knowledge and signs, in order that he may perceive, at every step he takes, how far he is gone and in which country his soul has begun to walk, in the land of Kanaan or beyond the Jordan. Consider also this: whether the soul, through its illumination, possesses sufficient knowledge for these distinctions; or distinguishes them dimly, or is wholly destitute of such distinctive
I) 2 Sam. 7, I
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486 faculties. Doest thou find with absolute certainty, that the deliberations have begun to become clear? Does distraction desist from the intellect at the time of prayer? Which affection troubles thee when the mind approaches unto prayer? Doest thou perceive that the power of solitude envelops the soul with the quiet and the unusual peace which it engenders in the mind? Is the mind continually snatched away spontaneously, by immaterial emotions, towards those things which it is not allowed to interpret to the senses? Does there suddenly blaze in them joy which makes the tongue silent by its incomparable delight? Does there constantly flow from the heart some enjoyment which envelops the whole being- in rapture, without thy perceiving it? Is sometimes thy whole body possessed by some delight and joy, which no fleshly tongue can express, so that thou esteemest all earthly things as ashes and dung, even when thou recollectest them? The first happens sometimes at the time of prayer, sometimes during the recitation; sometimes when through constant and prolonged meditation the spirit has become meditative and the mind fervent. The second usually happens without these. Often during fortuitous works, usually however during the night and on purpose, between sleeping and waking, sleeping though not sleeping and waking though not waking. And the delight which fl o ws through the whole body is esteemed so high at that time, that it seems as if the kingdom of heaven were nothing else but this. 487 And further consider this: if the soul possesses the strength to reject recollections of apperceptible things by the strength of the hope which reigns over the heart and makes strong the inner senses by an unfathomable conviction; and if the heart has acquired, without forethought, the habit of being captured so that it does no longer [perceive] earthly things, through continual intercourse with our Saviour, and thou possessest knowledge so as to distinguish the different designations of this intercourse, when thou hearest them - solitude cultivated without interruption will make it easy to the soul to acquire the taste of these. They disappear however, after having been present, through the neglect of those who have received them, and for a long time they do not reappear.
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On account of these, man ventures to adduce with confidence the testimony of his own mind; so the blessed Paul says: For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor things present, nor things to come, nor any other thing shall be able to separate me from the love of Christ 1). Then should bodily and psychic trouble, or persecution or hunger, or nakedness or loneliness, or captivity or danger or the sword? No, not even the angels of Satan, nor his powers with their evil cunning; nor glory which makes efforts by its alluring flatteries; nor oppressions and scorn by their vain blows. If these things, my brother, to a larger or lesser extent have not begun to show themselves in thy soul, thy labours and troubles and all thy solitude are vain efforts. And even 488 if miracles were wrought by thy hands and thou shouldst quicken the dead, this would be, nothing in comparison with the absence of these. And it is becoming that thou arousest thy self and with tears beseechest the Saviour of the world that He may take away the veil from the heart, and disperse from the inner firmament the darkness of the clouds of the affections; and that thou mayest be deemed worthy of seeing the rays of daylight. Then thou wilt not dwell in darkness as one who is dead for ever. Continual vigils with recitation and frequent kneelings performed between, will not fail one day to give this good to him that is diligent. For those that have found them, have found them through these works. And those who will find them, will be able to do so through these works. And while we are constantly abiding in solitude, performing these works, and the mind is not bound by any thing or any man without the soul, then by the works of inward excellence we shall soon find in ourselves a partial, but veracious apperception of them and we shall acquire certainty also concerning the rest. Those who, while abiding in solitude, have experienced God's lovingkindness, do not need much persuasion. Nor is their soul sick by the affection of unbelief as those who doubt the truth. The witness of their mind is for them sufficient persuasion, more than myriads of words not founded on experience.
1) Cf. l{om. 8, 38
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