Chapter XLVIII
On The Varying States Of Light And Darkness To Which The Soul Is Subject At All Times And On The Training It Acquires In Things Of The Right Hand And Of The Left
Let us look at ourselves at the time of service and prayer. If we possess contemplation regarding the words of the Psalms and of prayer, this has its origin in real solitude. Let us not be perturbed when we are in darkness; especially if we are not the cause of it ourselves. For it is brought about by divine care, for causes which are known only to it. Our soul is then suffocated and, as it were, in the midst of storms. Whether a man approach unto a book of service -to whatever he approaches, it is darkness upon darkness which he finds in it, so that he desists from all effort. How many a time is he not even allowed to approach. He is wholly unable to believe that a different state will come upon him so that he will be in peace again. This hour is full of despair and fear; and the hope in God and the consolation of faith are wholly effaced from the soul, which is totally filled with doubt and fear. Those who are tempted by the storm of this time, know by experience the varying state which will follow after it. Never will God leave the soul a whole day in this state; otherwise it would lose life and all Christian hope. But gradually -however strong this darkness may be - a turn unto life will appear from it. Unto thee, o man, I give the advice: if thou possessest no power to dominate thy soul and to fall upon 340 thy face in prayer, envelop thy head in thy mantle and lie down till the hour of darkness has passed away from thee.
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Leave not, however, thy cell. By this temptation are tried especially those who are willing to walk in mental discipline and who in their course are running toward the consolation which comes from faith. This dark hour, therefore, tortures them, more than by any thing else, by spiritual doubt. It is also accompanied by strong abuse; sometimes even by doubt of the resurrection and other points which it is not necessary to mention. All these things we have experienced many times and recorded for the consolation of many. Those who are occupied by bodily labours only are wholly removed from this struggle. They are attacked by dejection with which every man is acquainted and which differs from the state mentioned and similar ones. The healing of the latter - viz. its consolation - has its origin in solitude. By intercourse a man will never obtain the light of consolation, but in the course of time he will find alleviation. Afterwards, however, it will attack him vehemently. He needs an enlightened man, experienced in these things, by whom he may be illuminated and encouraged from time to time, though not constantly. Blessed is he that endures under these circumstances the abiding indoors, he that after these things reaches the large and strong apartment, as the Fathers say. Not at once, however, will this struggle cease; neither will grace come and dwell in the soul completely at once, but 3 41 gradually. One, and the other: sometimes temptation, some
times consolation. Some of it will remain, even till departure. Complete deliverance from it we do not expect here, nor complete consolation. Thus has it pleased God that our temporal life should be provided. And these things are for those that walk in the way.