I say that long life is considered not only according to the length of passing days, but according to their value. And according as there is a threefold honor which is shown to parents, so there corresponds to this threefold honor a threefold reward: because to the one who honors his father with the honor of reverence is owed a glorious or honorable life; to the one who honors his father with the honor of obedience is owed a joyful life; to the one who honors his father with the honor of beneficence is owed an abundant life.
7. First, I say, to the one who honors his father with the honor of reverence is granted a glorious or honorable life; whence in Ecclesiasticus: The glory of a man is from the honor of his father; likewise in the same place: Glory not in the dishonor of your father, for his shame is not glory to you. For it is natural that a son should love his father most ardently, and that he should be indignant when someone does injury to his father.
8. Second, to the one who honors his father with the honor of obedience is granted a joyful life; whence in Ecclesiasticus: He who honors his father shall find joy in his children, and in the day of his prayer he shall be heard. He who honors his father shall live a longer life; and he who obeys his father shall bring comfort to his mother. The highest joy is that a man not be rebellious toward his superior; because he who is rebellious toward his superior will find his inferior rebellious toward him, and the despiser of higher powers will be despised by those beneath him: just as Adam, when he was disobedient to his superior, found all the lower creatures which had been subject to him turned against him.
9. Third, to the one who honors his father with the honor of beneficence is granted an abundant life; whence in Ecclesiasticus: Honor your father and your mother, and blessing shall come upon you, and your blessing shall remain to the last. This blessing is called the multiplication of goods. — Behold, the precept, and behold the promise.
10. We are obliged to obey our parents as long as we make use of their goods; and we ought to comply with them in the exercise of virtuous or salutary acts, in the dispensation of temporal goods, and in the rendering of services: because we ought to live according to their counsel and spend according to their command and, when they require it, render service. If, however, parents should wish, say, or command something that is against the advancement of our salvation, piety is not to be shown to them in such matters. And this is what the Lord says in the Gospel: He who does not hate his father and mother and wife and children and brothers, and even his own soul, cannot be my disciple. The Lord wills that on account of paternal affection a man should not cease to do what pertains to his salvation. And this is what the Lord says: Let the dead bury their dead; but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God. And Jerome says: "If your father should lie across the threshold, if your mother should bare the breasts with which she nursed you, trample over your father, trample over your mother, and fly to the standard of the cross. For the only kind of piety in this matter is to be cruel."
Behold, the understanding of the words according to the literal sense: now see the broader understanding.
11. Beneficence toward every kind of person is commanded. Father names the person in whom there is a preeminent character of authority, seniority, and amiability. In natural being, the son is not coequal with the father.
First I say, in the father there is authority: and in this commandment a precept is given that the father be obeyed, because he has authority. Moreover, everyone who presides over public affairs, or political affairs, or monastic affairs has authority.
First I say that he who presides over public affairs is called father by reason of authority, such as a prince, baron, count, and the like, and is called father by guardianship or defense; and we ought to honor him as a father. Whence blessed Peter: Fear God, honor the king.
12. Second, he who presides over political or ecclesiastical affairs is called father by reason of authority. And we ought to honor him according to what the ecclesiastical ordering requires, and the people ought to obey him: whence the Apostle to the Hebrews: Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they keep watch as those who will render an account for your souls.
13. Third, he who presides over monastic affairs is called father by reason of authority. And we ought to honor him and obey him, according to the rule and the promise that has been made. Whence Jerome: "Love the superior of the monastery as a father, fear him as a lord, hear him as a master, believe that whatever he says to you is salutary." - It is clear, therefore, that we ought to obey these according to what authority requires.
14. Second, in the father is understood old age and frailty; for the elderly become weakened. And he who honors his father by reason of old age and frailty honors every person who is in need of assistance, or who lacks understanding, or strength, or who is harassed by another. And on account of this we ought to help another through instruction, or through sustenance, or through protection. And for this purpose prelates especially exist: if a person lacks understanding, they ought to help him through instruction: if he lacks strength, they ought to help him through sustenance: if he is harassed by another, they ought to help him through protection.
15. Third, in the father is understood the notion of friendliness: and in this we understand that by reason of origin every person is lovable and ought to be loved, and every person is bound to honor another. Whence the Apostle: In honor anticipating one another; and again: Render to all what is owed; to whom honor, honor. Owe no one anything, except to love one another. For a person ought to love another, willing good to each one with respect to affection, with respect to deed, and with respect to outward expression .
16. Moreover, this love has an order, because we ought to love according to the reason of proximity, according to the reason of likeness, and according to the reason of obligation.
First, I say, we ought to love according to the reason of proximity; and according to this we owe greater love to those of our household than to strangers, and ought to serve friends more than enemies.
17. Second, this love has an order according to the reason of likeness, because to some we owe by reason of likeness greater love than to others: thus by reason of likeness in specific form we are bound to love a human being; yet according to likeness by reason of agreement in faith we ought to love a Christian more than a Saracen; likewise by reason of profession in a community a religious is more bound to love a brother of his order, and one canon another canon.
18. Third, we ought to love by reason of obligation: and thus we are more bound to some than to others. For I am bound to love another and to honor him by reason of precept; yet I am more bound by reason of precept and benefit, if I have received a benefit; I am most bound to love another and to honor him by reason of precept and by reason of benefit and by reason of promise, that is, him concerning whom there is a precept for me, and from whom I have received a benefit, and to whom I have made a promise—such a one I ought to love and honor more.
19. It is clear, therefore, how in these words: Honor etc., the precept is touched upon, and how the promise is added, there: That you may be long-lived upon the earth. And it has also been said how they are understood according to the literal sense, and how according to the spiritual sense.
But so that you may better retain this in mind, I shall tell you two examples: one good, about a man who honored his mother, and another evil and cruel, about a man who did not honor his father. I shall speak first of the good one.
20. There was a certain great and famous master at Paris, known and beloved by many. His mother, hearing of this, who was a poor woman, resolved to go to her son; she took a staff and in a little tunic of coarse cloth came to Paris and inquired of certain ladies about this master. Those matrons said: what do you want from him? She replied: I am his mother. Then those matrons brought her into their house and refreshed her. Afterward they considered that the good man would be ashamed if he saw her in such a state; and they clothed her well and gave her a mantle and brought her to the master. Then she said: I am your mother. The master replied: I do not believe it, because my mother was a poor woman and was not accustomed to wear anything but a little tunic of coarse cloth. And since the master would not accept her words, the matrons brought her back to their house and returned to her the little tunic and the staff. Then she approached her son in the assembly of many people; and he recognized his mother in such garb, and removing his hood, he embraced her saying: now I know well that you are my mother. This was spread throughout the city and was reckoned to him as a great good. And afterward he was made Bishop of Paris.
21. I shall tell another evil example about a man who did not honor his father. I saw the man who knew him to whom this happened. There was a certain poor man who through his own industry had acquired many goods, and he had an only son. Certain nobles, seeing this, arranged that the son should contract marriage with the daughter of a certain nobleman. And then she, who was young, beautiful, and noble, began to abhor the father of her husband and prevailed so much upon her husband that the father was driven from the table and from the house; and he had nothing to eat but bad beans. One day he was famished and came to the house of his son and asked for food, and bad beans were given to him, and he was driven from the house. Then she said to her husband: now we can eat in peace. Go to the chest and take out the cooked capon. And when he opened the chest, the capon was changed into a toad. Which, suddenly leaping onto his face, placed two feet on his chin and two on his forehead and covered his entire face, and there was no physician who knew how to remove it. At length a certain smith came who tried to remove it with his pincers. Then the toad looked at him with so horrible a countenance that he fell to the ground and dared do nothing more; and there was no one who knew how to give counsel; but that man died an evil death.