"Faith obtains self-restraint."
Therefore, let no one prescribe from this, let no one think this obligation has been imposed on him. "Who can accept this, let him accept it." "But I cannot," he says. You cannot? "I cannot." A certain nurturing authority of the Apostle has taken you up, that if they cannot contain themselves, let them marry. Let something be done so that pardon may be obtained. Let it pertain to forgiveness, so that one may not rush into eternal punishment. Let what is allowed be done so that what is not allowed may be forgiven. This is indicated by what follows: "I would rather they marry than burn." “I have granted something to incontinence,” he says, “because I feared something greater: I feared eternal punishment, I feared what awaits the adulterers.” Also let those who are married, in their mutual use beyond the necessity of procreation, consider these things for which it is said every day: "Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors." But let those who can accept this, accept it, and let them pray so they can. Faith also achieves continence: “Since I knew,” says the holy Scripture, “since I knew that no one can be self-controlled, unless God grants it, and it was part of wisdom itself to know whose gift this was.” When you fear continence as if it were a punishment, you do not knock at the door of grace. Do not think it is a punishment. When you can, it will not be troublesome. He will grant it, whose gifts are to be sought. Knock: you will be given; ask, seek: you will find. The fountain always flows, let faith not be lazy. And yet let him who can accept this, accept it; he who cannot, if he cannot contain himself, let him marry.
Let mercy move spouses in granting or not granting the debt.
Love one another. The man may, the woman may not: do not seek the due, but give it back. And in that which you return to the one who no longer seeks, if you do not seek it, you show mercy. I absolutely dare to say: it is mercy. For if you do not return it, with desire conquered, wife, or if you do not return it, woman, the man, conquered by desire, will become an adulterer. I do not want you to be honored so much that you want him to be condemned. What if you do not seek it anymore, but only return it: it is regarded as abstinence. For it is not demanded by lust, but it is returned through mercy. Absolutely tell your God: "Lord, you know in me what you have given, but I also hear what you have warned, for you have made both me and my spouse, and you wished no one to perish." Turned towards the Lord...