Chapter II.
How David longed to be delivered from this life, fraught with countless calamities and subject to sin, in order to attain the presence of God! The land is a place of tears, but what benefit do they bring? The Prophet, lifting his soul above the weaknesses of the flesh, poured out a prayer to cover his sins, so that he might enter the heavenly court. The delights of this same court are tasted by only a few, and it is compared to the Church itself.
6. He invokes, as I said, David, saying to the Lord: As the deer longs for the springs of water, so my soul longs for you, O God. My soul thirsts for the living God: when shall I come and appear before the face of God (Ps. 41:2-3)? The saint is consumed, and cannot contain himself. For the greatness of the soul is greater than the magnitude of any body; and he desires to fly safely from earthly things to heavenly things, as he says elsewhere: Who will give me wings like the dove, and I will fly and find rest (Ps. 54:7). For here are the snares, by which, although the just man is not entangled, yet he is hindered: here are pains and anxieties; there is joy, where grace is: here, finally, are the bonds of the body, which Paul desired to loose, that, being freed from all hindrances, he might be present with the Lord. This, therefore, was the desire of David's soul, that he might now see God, not through faith, but face to face; that he might no longer wander from the body, but be released from the body. For to be dissolved and to be with Christ is much better; because to die to the just man is gain. And indeed, it is a great gain to be without sin, to not be moved by the allurements of wrongdoing. For how can the world be free from filth, when not even a single day of a person's life on earth is free from the contagion of sin? Therefore, by living we incur losses to our innocence, and by death we attain an end to our errors. Thus, gain is acquired through death, but in the use of life, like miserable debtors, the name of usurers is increased to the charge of guilt. And the soul thirsts well, which hastens to the fountain, not of this water, but of eternal life, of which it was said above: For with you is the fountain of life, and in your light we shall see light (Ps. XXXV, 10). Therefore, David was hurrying to reach and appear before the face of God, whose countenance is light; for all whom the Lord looks upon, he illuminates.
My tears have been my bread day and night, while it is said to me every day: Where is your God? (Psalm 42:4) There, tears are indeed bread, where justice is hungered after. Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for justice, for they shall be filled. Therefore, there are tears that are bread, and they strengthen the soul of man. This also agrees with that saying of Ecclesiastes: Cast your bread upon the waters (Ecclesiastes 11:1); for there is the bread of heaven, where the water of grace is; for they rightly receive the substance of the Word and the nourishment of mystical understanding, by which streams of the water of life flow from the womb. Likewise there is here the living bread where tears and weeping of repentance are. For thus it is written: 'They went out with weeping, and I will bring them back in consolation' (Jeremiah XXXI, 9). Blessed therefore are those whose tears are loaves, who have deserved to laugh; because blessed are those who weep.
Remembering these things, he says, I poured out my soul over myself (Ps. XLI, 5). The holy person collects from those things that are outside, and pours out his soul above himself, so that the soul, poured out over the body, may hide the weakness of the flesh, cover the body for penance, and extend the power of the soul and mind everywhere. Hence, in the later passage he says: I will pour out my prayer in his presence (Ps. CXLI, 2). Where prayer is poured out, there sins are concealed. But of whom does he say he is mindful? Certainly of those things which he desired, that he might come and appear in the sight of God, that he might see that eternal court of His, in which he wandered in his mind and delighted in the presumed entrance.
9. 'Since I will enter,' he says, 'into the place of the tabernacle of wonder, even to the house of God. In the voice of exultation and confession, the sound of feasting (Psalm 41:5).' He wept not without reason, because he was dwelling on earth, to whom the heavenly tabernacles should have been owed, and whom the entrance of a powerful palace should have awaited. Finally, he preferred that one alone above all the riches of his kingdom, as he himself testified elsewhere, saying: 'One thing I have asked of the Lord, this I will seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life and that I may behold the delight of the Lord (Psalm 26:4).' The delight of the Lord is in the Church: the Church is the image of heavenly things; for after the shadow passed, the image succeeded. The shadow is the Synagogue: in the shadow is the Law, in the Gospel the truth. Therefore in the light of the Gospel, the image shines forth. Thus the Prophet wept; because the fullness of grace and the abundance of joy were delayed.